Hi :)
It has been a crazy few weeks. I kicked it off with learning how to bake. I thought it was vital that I learn. First reason: Because I like to be good at things. My last attempt took me 2 days to scrape off the oven tray (Apparently you’re meant to use baking paper and something called an oven timer). Second reason: To get me a husband. Men like baking. If I learn to bake delicious treats they will be like putty in my hands. My friends told me that that isn’t exactly how you get a husband. You know what I said to them? Shut up and eat a cookie. I’m practically a domestic goddess now. Perfectly iced cupcakes (Took me a while to master that skill, but I got there in the end. Well…kinda) and delicious chocolate chip cookies were my first creations. HELLO husband. I went to get mail out of the letterbox and had to shuffle through all of the men lining up at my door step. I live a tough life.
I have been dancing my arse off lately. I had a Salsa comp coming up and have been training almost every day. Making up Salsa moves comes very easy to me and choreographing a routine isn’t a brain drain. Hip-Hop on the other hand. Holy shit. Could I get any more uncoordinated? I used to dance Hip-Hop all the time and fully mastered the ‘Hip-Hop pout’. These days when I try to ‘pop, lock and drop’ I end up popping a knee out, my back locks up and if I drop, I end up flat on the floor and there is no way I’m getting back up again. 22 years old? Try 60. I’ll stick to salsa for the time being.
To cure my aches and pains and work off those cupcakes I’ve been doing some Yoga. Just at home in the lounge, with the skinny lady on YouTube telling me to breathe (As if I’d forget?). Downward Facing Dogs, Warrior poses and ab crunches take up about 45 minutes of my session. Then it’s time to get in touch with my inner hippie and attempt to meditate. THIS part is the hardest for me. How am I seriously meant to clear my head? Have you any idea the chaos that goes on inside this noggin’ of mine? Let me walk you through it…
I sit there, feet together, hands on my knees, listening to the peaceful voice telling me to relax.
*Deep breath*
“Release your body and fully relax. Clear your mind and focus solely on your breathing.”
Relaxing, relaxing, relaxing.
*Deep breath*
“In and out”.
Clearing my mind. Mind.Clear.
“Relax. Get rid of everything. This is your time to revitalise both body and mind.”
*Deep breath*
Drifting…
Relaxing…
I’m kinda hungry. Man, I really need to go grocery shopping. Shhhh Bex.
*Deep breath*
Is my mind clear? NO, ‘cos you’re thinking. Crap.
“Listen to the chimes and sounds of nature. Let them take you into another world. A world where you can fully….relaxxxxxx”
I wonder if those birds are fantails. I love fantails. They are such sweet birds. Do I still have my fan I got in China? It must be in my wardrobe. Man I need to clean my wardrobe. Or I just need to stop buying clothes. And make up. But that was a gooooood make-up sale. I was stocking up. So it’s OK. Although I was spending money I don’t have, on things I don’t need. Story of my life…
*Deep breath*
“Deep breath in and our. Relax your shoulders”
I wonder when my period is due? My boobs are a little sore, maybe it’s coming soon. Although all the dancing and shaking could be doing that. I need to watch The Kardashians I taped. And Serial Killer Sunday. I love murder shows. Yay we won Gold at the Olympics. Great rowing race. I wonder how long... BEX! Clear your freakin’ mind. Shit. Soz.
*Deep breath*
I wonder what's in the fridge…
F.A.I.L!
Another activity I find extremely hard to relax whilst doing is flying. I wouldn't be alone on this one. I think just for my sanity I will from now on only fly Air New Zealand. Jet Star planes, although surprisingly on schedule this time around, are VERY loud. It seems as though every movement the wings make, or buttons the captain pushes is magnified and put through the speaker system. Not.A.Fan. I usually try to focus on other things going on, to distract me. I had two little kids in front of me and watching them meet each other for the first time and instantly become best friends was simply gorgeous. Passing their toys to each other and speaking toddler talk. So ca-uuute. Beside me on the plane, something equally as cute (But secretly I wanted to spew) was a foreign couple all loved up.Touching, giggling, playing with each other’s faces. Hands everywhere. I’m pretty sure they were engaging in foreplay, and were about to disembark to the bathroom and enter the Mile High Club (Like being involved in a protest, also on my bucket list). I kept finding myself staring. Creep. I had to get off this plane!
Random thought: Because I'm allergic to cats I might have to be the crazy budgie lady, or maybe own 13 turtles.
I'm pretty sure I owe you another one of these bad boys really soon. I'll get a tapping...I've just got back from the shaky city and have a few tales to tell. Until then...
Love & Laughs
Bex
'The Big Bosomed Baker'
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