Thursday 6 December 2012

Boobs. Friends. Chocolate. Rain. Christmas.


Hey good lookin', what's cookin'? Hope you are smiling as much as me!


Boobs. I saw bOObies today. And for once they weren't my own. Door knocking creates some pretty funny stories, one of which was definitely shared over my lunch time break today. I walked up to the door of a home in Titirangi, fully aware that someone was home, as the windows were all open and I could hear Cindy Lauper’s ‘Girls just wanna have fun’ blasting from the corner of the house. I walked up the stairs, noticed mouldy curtains in the window, took my ‘I’ve got you Mrs customer, right where I want you’ breath and knocked cheerfully on the door (one of those knocks that sound awfully friendly-one of my tactics). The next thing I know a rather large white figure appears to be moving to the right of me. I look over, as this lady scrambles to get out of her deck chair, screaming like an orgasm has just rippled through her body (Seriously? I must be excellent at Sales), tripping over her own feet whilst sporting a pair of floral pink knickers. The best bit…she is completely, utterly, entirely and downright topless! (I can see why she is trying to catch some sun, if I wasn’t blinded by the bouncing bosoms, the paleness would’ve done it). Still screeching, she runs behind her (mouldy-huge selling point haha) curtains to cover herself. I hadn't said anything yet. I wasn't sure what to say. I just stood there. Rather than apologising and leaving the poor embarrassed woman alone I tried to lighten the mood by saying ‘nice day for it!’. (Just go Bex!) She began apologising and repeating ‘This must've wrecked your day. I’m in no shape to have strangers eyes on me. I’m so sorry, you must be blinded’. Little did she know this was in fact the highlight of my day. I told her I was only doing a survey, but would leave her to it. I then rushed out of there and down the road to tell my colleague. I’d take boobies over people chasing me out of their section yelling TRESPASS any day. Ahhh yes, Sales…it’s a thrilling game.

Friends. We all have them. Life time friends, school friends, work friends, for me-dance friends, old friends, new friends, friends for certain purposes (wink wink, nudge nudge), friends that drive us batty and friends that you just couldn't live life without. This past week my friends have made me laugh, pull my hair out, feel loved and supported and shake my head, asking myself WTF over and over. Don’t get me wrong I love them ALL (Even when they piss me off), this week has just got me thinking about the notion of ‘tip toeing’ around people. Surely friends should know your personality better than others, your sense of humour, strengths and weaknesses…sometimes better than you know them yourself. When do you think it is OK to stop ‘tip toeing’ around people and to just be your complete and utter crazy self? … Is there a length of time you need to know a person before you can say a joke and not have to say ‘Just kidding’ after it or write ‘haha’ just to make sure they understood it was JUST.A.JOKE? I'm not saying to be completely inconsiderate of your friend’s feelings, I just want to know when is it OK to bust a few jokes and for them to not result in being blocked on Facebook. (Ekk!)  Friends should get you and everything you are about. I've had a lesson in that this week and without going into any juicy details, I was left feeling confused and pissed off.  It really drove me bonkers. I'm over it now. But at the time…crickey dick! Just as one episode of Days Of Lives ends in my life, another one begins… I’m calling ‘CUT’ on this one (If only I had one of those cool director things…).

Chocolate. The love and bane of my existence. Week one: Tonight I skipped dinner and just ate chocolate instead (I'm mean no I didn't Mum). Yesterday I spent half an hour preparing dinner, the entire time picking away at a Timeout bar. When tea was ready I was too full from chocolate. I walk down the confectionery isle at the supermarket and promise myself I will not put chocolate in the trolley; I succeed and leave feeling good about myself. I then go to work, experience a ‘chocolate craving’ and use whatever change I have to buy an overpriced chocolate bar from the vending machine. Fail. I then decide to save my money and buy a pack of small chocolate bars next time I'm at the supermarket, vowing to myself to take one a day to work. I open the packet as soon as I get home, treating myself to one after dinner. By the end of the night I am sitting amongst 12 little chocolate wrappers and nursing a full stomach and a huge WHY?!! 

Week two: R.E.P.E.A.T!

I need to get this addiction (which I'm sure it has now become) under control. I need to learn to limit myself to two chocolate bars a week. God knows it’d save me a lot of money. Any suggestions on what I can eat that will satisfy my needs, cure my craving and leave me feeling amazing would be greatly appreciated… :) Addiction is a crazy thing. I have a very addictive personality, hence why I stay clear of the hard stuff. I was even slightly addicted to stratchies once. I'm so hardcore. Hold me back, hold me back…

Rain. I would very much like Auckland to STOP raining. Especially since my job involves me being outside. If it isn't raining, then I'm out there developing some very uneven tan lines (But hey I'd rather that then wet undies!). Today it bucketed down, soaking every inch of me. Auckland, how on EARTH am I meant to turn my beach sex dream into reality if it's raining?? (That could make another interesting sex dream in itself…but we won’t go there) Hmmmm you tell me. The crazy hormonal weather used to make the day interesting, now it just messes with my hair, makes my uniform see-through (Wet T-shirt comp…HELLO) and makes my shoes and socks soggy.  It is December now, so I would appreciate it if you were an example of the term ‘Summer’. Please and thank you. 

Christmas. 18 days till the fat man breaks into our homes and steals our food. I haven’t done any Xmas shopping. I have very little Christmas spirit. I didn't buy a advent calendar this year, because lets be real I won’t be able to limit myself to only one chocolate a day, and I haven’t come across any mistletoe as of yet-but trust me if I do, I’ll be snoggin' the hell out of the person who ends up underneath it with me. I am however very much looking to family time back in the beautiful, sunny (Auckland take note!) Wanganui. I cannot wait to see my friends and have a reunion over the festive season. Lots of wine to be consumed,  laughs to be had and drunken memories to create. 

I'm off to die from a chocolate comer (Not related to my last Blog, as staying ‘friends’ was the way that situation turned out. I couldn't be happier either! :) ). Chocolate limitations begin tomorrow. Wish me luck. 

Love & Laughs

Bex

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